A bridge loan might be your best option here.

I would like a granite style, but not sure about the other stone options in terms of what would be best. 

Rather than go into all the specifics I would suggest you read some underwriting books to understand how to analyze these larger deals.A few that come to mind are:- Multifamily Millionaire Vol 1&2 (Bigger Pockets) Multifamily Millionaire Book Bundle – BiggerPockets Bookstore- Hands Off Investor by Brian Burke-  Definitive Guide to Underwriting Multfamily by Robert BeardsleyThere are many others out there, but I would suggest starting with those.

If a seller is offering $10k in assistance but the PP is only $189k on conventional a loan with only 3% contribution allowed, what are all the options for the for any of the left over contributions after. paying closings costs ?

I think it is great to network and gauge interest for when a deal comes but bring them something before you take money because if you take the money first it is idle and they are getting no returns while it is sitting there unless you can pay some return out of pocket which I am sure you aren't doing because you are using OPM. 

The eastern panhandle is a great place to invest. keep working on Bigger Pockets.   

You want to go to meetups, meet people, and fall into a mentor by adding deal options, sweat equity, or some other skillset to help them.

The 80% of purchase price from the bank clears the sellers note and puts the remaining equity in his pocket.

I've had Bigger Pockets account for a little over a year now, and have been watching their videos since I was younger.  

An option could be doing some research to ball park what these estimates would come in at and remove that amount from your offer.