This is the biggest thing keeping me on the fence. 3a) I have several million dollars in equities, and another several million in CDs, and the CDs are paying me 5.2% for zero risk.

I recommend keeping bookkeeping in the States.

I don’t have detailed financials on the laundromat as they just did the bare minimum to keep it open, and I want to go in and add value.

Things get even more complicated when you have multiple rentals and you end up having to use class tracking to try to keep them separate. 

I keep systems in place for cleanliness, quiet hours, etc...

You have to keep in mind that when you're looking at Zillow, you're practically looking at deals that "everyone" is looking at.

I already started following you to keep in touch.

Lots of brokers out there that will do 30 year fixed, but a lot depends on your situation.I can't recommend any bank for DSCR, especially if they're keeping you on a 25 year amortization. 

Keep showing up and eventually it will happen. 

Appraisals keep going up every year unchecked.