Heard about this after the fact, but some of my tenants went to a strip club and hired 2 of the ladies and their security to perform at one of my houses for them. 

The lady got up and walked over and took the book from his hands.

Very friendly lady and would prob just walk you through the process for much less or nothing at all since you would get the loan from them.

Good luck with finding the perfect balance, and fingers crossed for more 5-star reviews coming your way!

I was very fortunate to partner with one of those "old lady sharks" you mentioned, lol, greatest real estate education & experience anyone could  have.

One lady with a full time job was making $4-5k/month.

OK, Ok.. not going to dissect your entire "fist shaking in the air and fingering pointing" rant - people have far more important things to be doing.  

Do you guys/ladies have anyone you recommend?

We once had a bad experience with a crazy lady ringing my doorbell, I stupidly opened the door, she asked for someone by name hiding in my house, I said no, I'm here alone, I recently moved here, and she accused me of lying, pushed passed me, ran upstairs, walking from one end of the house to the other, opening closet doors, shouting "I know you're hiding here".  

I wrote my post right after this lady yelled at me.