Have these two options on the table for financing a little 8 unit.

Cost will depend on a lot of factors: size of the units, how many head units are needed, how well air sealed and insulated they are, window placement and efficiency, difficulty of electrical and running the lines.

Don't let someone who is in the business of making loans tell you what sized loan you can afford.Find a cash flowing property that you can afford to put 20% down on and start your journey.

I'm secure; roof over our head, food on table, wife/kids enjoy minor luxuries here n there, school activies etc, and while saving 15-20% income each month. 

Another point is I’ve been in the construction industry most of my adult life so we will be building the home ourselves, saving 10+% on whatever size home we build.

I'll leave an example below that I just had, but seeing that many new folks are looking to start out with a househack, I think this is a good place to just dialog about this particular issue.In the most recent example we saw, we found a home with a sizeable lot, somewhere to the effect of being 4-5 lots in size for the average neighborhood in the area, with potential for just a slight cashflow as-is, but as we saw it, the opportunity to expand by building a detached garage with an apartment over-top that would allow us to keep kosher for owner-occupant with the lender, but up the cashflow for the property by a good estimated $600 a month.

What size projects did you have in mind?

If I have the income and want a house that size, I don't need to say why. 

I'm a local northern Nevada real estate investor looking to build up my network more, let me know preferred investment vehicle and what you can bring to the table (I.e. skill/trade, money, investment, ...) and I'll see if I can find a fit for you.

We ended up working through it together and then meeting at the table without any issues.Long story short, there isn't a law that I'm aware of that prevents you from talking to the seller directly.