A month ago, I was making 4 figures a week and could practically afford any real estate investment on my mind.

Is that a usual practice?  

As for as the practical side, I jumped in.

I can't make this stuff up, and the jokes practically write themselves.

I would stay within my scope of practice as a landlord by providing resources, but it is not the landlords job for charity or social problem solving.

Very poor business practice compared to all the other better options on the market. 

this has come up several times in classes I have taken as a Realtor. the "chemical off gassing" can make people sick for years after you paint. search the web about this, its really a bad practice.

Matt:Your mixing two different things here.When I suggested a Vendor as unlikely to provide 100% financing it was grounded in it being a risky business practice for the Vendor (why would I take on 100% of the financing risk with someone I do not know, or who does not have a demonstrable record).  

Yet I see those fans have been there forever.What is your practice when it comes to existing ceiling fans in a rental property?

They show you the practical side of the Real Estate investing business, one one one coaching and the opportunity build a business.