It would be a low doc loan, so we only have a few underwriting guidelines. 

I'd go to your county courthouse, there is usually a desk there for free legal advice with an attorney, or they can hook you up with a low cost attorney.

But do care a lot about low energy bills.

I grew up watching my dad invest in buy and hold properties while on a low income.

But, only really possible if 1) this is normal for the area OR 2) rents really are a little low for the area.  

Add to that the fact that VA has no mortgage insurance and rates on a 30 yr fixed are currently in the low 3's gives you an incredible opportunity.I highly doubt an underwriter would approve a VA loan for a part time residence in Texas, while your family is in California.If you want more info on your VA options.

I realize it may be an ongoing battle to pursue low-income, but there are ways to track anyone down to levy or garnish -

The properties that I am interested in are low cost (relatively speaking) sales, abandoned/adjudicated properties, and local auctions.

Anyway I tried reaching out to Ron LeGrand's group and I was suddenly like 6k too low to start or something... 

Are there off the shelf products that are very strong and can suck the order?