@Ned Carey this is very helpful in explaining to me the distinction

I just need some help understanding how it all gets pieced together in a legitimate deal. 

come on, give the guy some slack. there is a distinction between a lie and a scam. he is not trying to cheat money out of somebody. he just wanted to make it more directed to him for whatever purpose it worked until he told truth. he could have said nothing and moved on. up till then this is the best thread I read on bp about 1031 which I have deep doubts. he should get some credit for that. don't make it a bigger deal than what it is!

Never give them part of the after sale profits,ever.Have a plan,hire the right contractors,and push them to complete it without excuses.Purchase all the materials yourself and make sure it all arrives to the job site and doesn't end up in their cousins garage to be used for their personal use.Rule of acquisition #74, "Knowledge equals profit".Before you sign a piece of paper or plunk down one dollar know,don't think,know exactly what the property will need to be fixed,listed,and be sold quickly to prevent this year long sale from ever happening again.Get advice from local experts on everything from the neighborhoods to invest in,where to buy the best materials for the best price,and who the best contractors are to hire.Good luck in the future.

I feel like someone at your front step would be way more noticeable than any piece of mail...Thanks in advance!

@David Ellis, There isn't a lot of guidance regarding the distinction between boot from gain and boot from depreciation.  

I offered them a piece if they help me.  

One last piece of advice I would give you is get a good camera system.

., some big piece of equipment) have to be depreciated over multiple years.  

If you plan to purchase a single piece replacement tub/shower make sure you can get it into the bathroom.