If there is no running water in the kitchen because you've got the countertops torn apart, then you do not have a habitable home (by most county standards). 

CLR - calcium lime rustWe too have that problem where I live and have never had a water softener

A lawsuit at this point is inevitable so we have rescinded our offer that they wouldn't have accepted anyways and are not both agreeing to work on a termination of lease to get them out by May 31 so they're not responsible for rent and we won't have to start the eviction and they can sue us in which case, USAA will take over for us and we won't have to spend even more money on the lawyer that we're currently working with.The new terms will be that we give them back only their security deposit less damages and we'll send it to them as soon as they pay the last water bill and they will vacate by May 30. 

Are there any infinte banking / Privatized banking system practitioners here in the Columbus area?

Oil and water in my opinion.

I think the best system is having a savings account for security deposits, a checking account for all business income, and a business CC for business expenses.

Woods It has to have a stove, plumbing, hot water, etc. 

Larger buildings have fire alarms and sprinkler systems; fire walls; wider hallways and stairwells with double exits, etc ... all measures to increase the available window to exit a building in the event of a fire.

I'd have to run power, water and sewer to the camper if I were to do it right but I'd immediately save the $110 a month on storage fees and  could easily go back and forth between my house and camper when I have people staying. 

There's been a lot of attention recently on a few landlords who were gaming the system and the City's aldermen are cracking down on abuses, but I think that those landlords are more the exception than the rule.