This ensure that if they split up for whatever reason, the whole rent still needs to be paid by either one or both of them, no exceptions! 

This is fine with me except that a new inspection needed to be done.

The only exception is if you are buying another primary with the intent on leasing out the primary you would be vacating.

Their original lease says that no pets are allowed except the one 10lbs dog that they told us about before they moved in.

Going to real estate meetings and reading forums online further confirmed my belief that everything sucked except real estate.  

That's me, except much better looking lolCurrently I am interested in STRs and MTRs (but not idea where) and LTRs but, again, no idea where.Any suggestions/experience in that area?

****Except your 401k and IRA’s.

I’m not sure why multiple lenders have told you that, but they definitely are the exception not the standard.

As long as you have lived there for a year or qualify for FHA exceptions, you should be able to get a conventional mortgage on your next home purchase (5% down, good credit, assuming DTI supports two houses etc) As for your current LLC, you can purchase your next house and quit claim your current one into the LLC for liability protection even though the loan would stay in your name 

Exception being on listings.