All brokers are human and can make mistakes.

Your seller may be exempt from new laws, since you are a dealer, not an owner, you may not have the same exemptions.Financing real estate is a very big deal, if you were doing this selling a bag of apples it might be a good idea, those that don't understand RE financing should stay clear of dreaming up things, Do some reading, much has been written here about CFDs and other methods, the CFD is the worst way now, I suggest you not go there like that. :)

Maybe Tenant Durable but nothing is human proof unless you built a caveman style house made of concrete with no utilities.

Buying as cheap as humanly possible 

If they have Bad Habits, it is likely the pet will too, AND the Owner may not give a rip about other people's property...including yours.Having said that, if you want to allow pets, check your local Humane Society "resources" page.

If you don't need S-corp status, you could have your OR entity be the 100% owner of the TX LLC (S-Corp requires all humans) or you could treat it as a disregarded entity for tax purposes. 

Difference is, you'll likely avoid the scammers and dumb twits because you know the basics, what can and can't be done and how things are suppose to be done and you can then say.....Ha, that's a bunch of junk or you can say.....that sounds worthwhile, that's a valid strategy.Drug dealers on the corner only sell to those willing to buy their junk who have expectations without really knowing what they are buying. :)

The first will have your name as grantee for personal guarantee (since most 1-4 family underwriting will require a human borrower), and the second will deed from you (a person) to the LLC.

What I've seen is that its personality of the humans involved in the underwriting dept. 

The IRS may not know you're breaking the law, or may not care - after all, even drug dealers are expected to pay taxes - but it sounds like you're setting yourself up for some red flags for sure.