When a neighbor calls to complain about detached-home tenants swearing loudly, other than saying "tell me more" and letting the caller vent, any favorite phrases I could use to let them feel heard without triggering wounds or having the conversation dragging on forever? 

Last month I had major needing to evict tenants and do a major cleanup and fix several items after they trashed my place in less then 2 years.

Your last conversation should be pay or leave..Your last resort will be to offer cash for keys..

Most people don't know this, but the anode is a wear item. 

Make a list of all your CapEx items and break it up into monthly costs to replace it based on it's lifespan and current condition.

Here is a breakdown of the items they saw that needs attention.Needs minor trash removal; needs mownSupport post trim needs replaced; badly deteriorated; upper trim needs scraped and paintedBroken panes on side back needs replacedReplace fixture on front porch; flood lights on backNeeds some minor trash removed and minor work done220 wiring needs secured;not up to code, needs to be placed inside conduit.Install new furnace filterClean and paint register ventsInstall apprx. 4 door stopsFull interior rent ready cleaning required after all work completeReplace as needed to match all light bulbsSteam clean all carpet; sweep and mop vinylReplace missing storm door, paint interior doorPaint all wallsPaint door; interior shows signs of previous leak, but doesn’t appear to be a current problem; paint interiorSeal gaps in side window; paint all; seals appear damaged on double pane windows; may not be an issueReplace screensInstall two smoke detectorsInstall two blindsTouch up, as neededPaint all window sealsSeals appear bad; paintInstall screenVery old and drawers fall out; should be replaced with new; secure handles, if keptHas several large chips; functional sink otherwiseInstall two strainers Install fire extinguisherPaint side exit doorEstimated cost is $4,000. 

Is there a form letter people use to send out say here is the itemized damage charges and a bill for the uncovered amount?

If a big ticket item comes up, I’ll contribute from my personal finances.

Yes, absolutely yes, review items such as crime trends, median income, unemployment figures, non-farm payroll figures and growth respective of that, school system health, general GDP growth of the prospective market.

Also, write out what you want to say, because it helps you stay on track when that conversation goes...sideways.