I will say that based upon where this property is (very desirable location), I'm not terribly concerned about the demand, and the ability to find very good tenants. 

If its a small business loan under an existing/new LLC then the banks typically look at the income generating ability for the property in question more than your personal income.

Before you can be creative and think outside the box you must know what's inside the box, what the rules are, how transactions can be engineered, how to use other assets, monetary assets or your abilities.

I just want to hack or speed up our ability to invest in RE.

I want the ability to do lease options here in California and I know you are in SoCal.  

Additionally because of the strings attached I don't have the ability cash out any of my equity (but I do have quite a bit.) when I bought this house I knew nothing about real estate.

A lender policy insures, basically, ability to foreclose and retain that priority.  

In many cases, the child will have the ability to own and control legal title title upon reaching majority at age 18.

If income is sketchy, infrequent, inconsistent, unseasoned, or uncertain then the bank is required to exclude it when considering your ability to repay. 

On top of the actual raw score that info can help evaluate a tenants credit and ability/willingness to pay bills as well.