But I do get a diverse cross-section of humanity. 95% of the time, I never even make contact except through emails, and about 1% of my guests must be ninjas, who show up, sleep in a bed, and vanish. 15 minute cleanups are the best!

The natural human persons will be the ones underwritten for creditworthiness and capacity, but vesting, etc, can be in the revocable living trust, allowing heirs to skip probate if you die, and according to some lawyers giving you many of the same protections that LLCs have. 

I think the biggest key to success is removing the "human" element to the greatest extent possible. 

Print some business cards and tell everyone humanly possible ?

I couldn't agree more that the human factor works wonders.

If you want some laughs look up craigslist ads offering jobs for work at absurd prices, for example people have offered $10 per hour for someone to come out and install a deck, not kidding. 

Tell them you are human too, and you understand Why they did what they did however every choice has consequences.   

If you go to the humanes society or local dog pound?

Credit doesn't make people any more human than others.

Not humanly possible or at all believable by the IRS.