I know it's a long shot and likely impossible, but if there's a way, what do you think would be the best bet?

@Alejandro Buse  Of those options, Nanaimo is probably your best bet. 

If nothing else, I bet you could get rid of those closing costs. 

The problem with cap rate is NOI does not paint a complete picture of a property return (see the "four sources of rental real estate returns" above for a complete picture), so cap rate is a poor measure of return because it does not measure any one of the above source(s) of return.

Rich dad poor dad.......wish i had read that at 18 rather than 31

A good REALTOR®, who is not super busy, would be your best bet because they're hungry for deals and being promised both the buy and sale side would be huge for them.

Buying in SF is a bet that a) "jumbo" loans will return to 2019-levels of availability and b) working from home is going to largely go away once the economy re-opens.For b, your guess is as good as mine.For a, you can track the general ease of availability of jumbo loans at the following link.

This is one of the ways liberals in the government  get all of us to agree to give them more money in the form of taxes, They tell us is not from you, the little guy is from the rich, we agree, then  next year they come back and say we want more and since we already took from the rich guess who is next, stand together people rich poor and so so we are all in the same boat, the private economy.

I have two tenants that I just served Notice of Non-Renewal to cut off their perpetual MTM lease and I'm betting one of the Ostriches is going to squat. 

Now that I've been looking through BP, listening to the podcasts, and reading some other books like "Richest Man in Babylon" and "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", I have some initial goals for my real estate investing.(1) I want to buy a home for me to live in.