Imagine borrowing against your credit card to make your mortgage payment each month.

Everything imaginable.

My imagined tenants would have no view or human elevator, and I would have to sub-meter the electric and heat as it was installed.

To speed up your learning curve I'd consider:Joining local investing meetupsFinding a knowledgeable, investment-savvy agent to help you do your first dealFinding a mentor and proposing a way to add value to their business in exchange for their mentorshipReading books, articles and reports to help you better understand investing in general/your local marketI'm imagine you're doing some of these things already, which is great.

I can't imagine $8K in property taxes.

I imagine that in most cities there are good property managers, just like there are very bad ones (Philadelphia has those also).A property manager has non-stop marketing, overflow of tenants and tenants looking to move from one unit to another.  

This is in the interview process, so I can imagine what they are like when it is under contract. 

I'm imagining your trip out to find another property manager may result in house #8.

I could imagine the latter could turn into a real nightmare to remove.

Imagine 5 years from now and property prices are only 15-30% higher and rates are only 1-2% higher and people are still praying for a crash.