I'd be more than happy to see steady, gradual progress, rather than a flood of work that makes my family and job suffer. 4.

If you have an entity in any state, so long as its in good standing, you wont have any problem.

We cant do a conventional because it wont be a primary residence.

So far I have identified TD Bank, Santander (but they have a $250k cap) and Penfed (but they wont offer HELOCs in first lien or if you own more than 4 units).

This way you wont have to pay any taxes on it.

I use an iPhone and certain things wont work for me like tagging people when I want to mention them in a post.

I know traffic is becoming an issue there, but 30 - 45 minute commutes wont be an issue for these folks. 

I have a lot I'm taking a bath on - can I deduct prop taxes, HOAs, architect fees - all the losses suffered in connection with terrible investment?

It wont be solved by doing the same things that created the problem.In California, zoning rules control the  way each parcel of land is used.

Wait...if it's a 4 unit, why not just go with a conventional 5% down and live in a unit and rent out the other 3your rate of 3.375% or whatever already signaled to me that it wasn't an investment rate but rather an owner occupied rate. youre young enough that living there for a year wont kill you.