If you need a local address you should be able to go to a nearby UPS store where they rent mailboxes.

I think a camp ground (even a "luxury") camp grounds could be a great idea here.Also a good thought to buy parking lots for cleaning and storing.

You may want to look at commercial strip malls with solid national anchors (Dominos, Verizon, Subway, etc) or NNN single-tenant properties (Walgreens, Dollar Stores, etc...). 

Gift card to grocery store or buy a pre packaged meal from the deli or Costco. 

Considering there are 0% real yields on almost anything but REI and business investments and my personal view is that the stock market is at extreme risk of imploding, and the dollar is losing value, it only makes greater sense to store wealth in real estate.However, it seems risky to do it in turnkey.

What are you stealing that's worth anything at the dollar store?! 

A convenience/gas store will always be that, a restaurant will always be that, and I’ve seen pharmacies become dollar stores.  

Specially at places where Amazon has Whole Foods stores where they can fill immediate prescriptions as well.

I build up a fat pile of cash and punch it in the face with all I got. $37k chunks usually.

It's not so much that the house is near 100 years old as it has to do with all the idiots who touched it during it's life - especially during the time of the Big Box Home Stores.