I love your thinking "big" approach, however there is a tariff war going on with the Chinese, they just had their second huge bank fail and the Chinese government is clamping down on out of country investing.

I failed miserably and quit.

You start small, you fail many times, you keep trying and build from what you learn. 

Lot's of good points here, I'll ad some thoughts: real estate is not for everyone; my answer to the famous question "what set's successfull investors apart from those who fail or give up" is "Passion for what they do!"

The good thing about working with a pro is that they will coach you on the deal, because they don't want you to fail.

If that fails, call the appraisal district and or the tax collector/assessor where the home is located. 

What is my best route to get funding with my recent credit fail.

Capacitor failed, which shut down the cooling fan which in turn overheated the compressor.

They would be a quiet neighbor, never get a noise complaint or the cops call on by them, I fail to see the issue.

From memory and I am not lawyer, what the cash investor wants forces the deal so your business would be offering a security.Investing expecting a profitSomeone else running everythingThe two points above are the issue from what I see.If you set this up as a simple loan where you are liable to pay it back even when the project fails, that might, just might push things back onto the right side of the line.