Based on the train of thought you shared you are completely ignoring a critical piece of the equation which is your own capabilties and whether you have the ability to execute on the opportunity.

She said she turns the fan on and leaves the door open after.

I am based in Atlanta, GA and we are back to bidding wars!

I’m not a fan of including utilities as you encourage tenant waste and your property appears to be more expensive than the comps. 

Based on what you learn from the application you'll have an idea of how to proceed.

I have had good luck with painting cabinets. scuff sand, take off hardware and ask the people at sherwin williams what they recommend for paint. probably something oil based.

A DSCR loan is more based on the asset's revenue potential, not your personal qualification, so if a vacation rental/Airbnb property can make money, you might qualify.But even if you could get a DSCR loan, I'd question whether you should get a DSCR loan. 

Overlooking Proper Market AnalysisMany hosts set their pricing based on intuition rather than data.

I'm based in San Jose and investing in Ohio/ North Kentucky :)

The Housing Authority calculates what each individual tenant is able to afford based on their bedroom needs and income.