I unexpectedly ended up finding something off the MLS so I won't have an agent to hold my hand like I originally planned.

Their energy is spent trying to work something with them (a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush).

The first guy left without issue after the tenants realized they were going to lose their apartment; the second is tbd.When I get unauthorized tenants, I write a very short and simple letter stating that everyone has to be on the lease and pass a background check.

I know creating the LLC is very simple and inexpensive. 

The simple solution is to explain that you will be using someone else's money to close.

Have plenty of cash reserves on hand.

You think it’s a good trade off to pay a property manager to do such a simple task, but they aren’t doing it !

If you want to keep it simple, I would suggest just wholesale it to your buyer and collect an assignment fee.

On the other hand I'm not sure a new investor can realistically expect those returns in some markets. 

I got a rough estimate some years ago of several thousand to replace, which would wipe out more than a handful years of cash flow as this stands.