However, I accidentally started listening to them backwards haha from newest to oldest.

You'd be hard pressed to prove that it wasn't broken since the inspection.  

Unless you find a killer deal, you are going to be hard pressed to find properties that do that.

Well, I accidentally fell into real estate investing.

The reality is busy and successful investors have more pressing activities and hire their agents to handle the real estate side.

I think you might be hard pressed to find a conventional 5% without a occupancy requirement. 

For someone without a lot of capital and for someone that hasn’t networked the way I should be I haven’t been able to press forward with anything. 

And, for now I am holding off the press.

Barring a generous relative or acquaintance/friend, you are going to be very very hard pressed finding a hard money lender that will let you roll all those things into the loan to someone with only 1k in the bank.There are some lenders (recasa) that will roll it all into the loan so you literally go to the table with nothing.

The person making the offer would be hard pressed to get a counter and more likely a response several days later stating they rejected your offer.