(I live in upstate SC)I know I'm going to have to be comfortable trusting a property manager for aNY project for it to be scalable, but  the prospects of having one of the tenants in a turnaround park watch over an entire asset while I'm away seems nuts, at least in my brain.

Everything he said sounded to good to be true, but I stayed to hear him out anyway.  

IMO, stay away from the major national VA lenders, most of their LO's are not experts and don't understand investors and house hacking and setting you up for success.  

I mean at that point I'd really feel comfortable to retire.

https://www.naahq.org/sites/default/files/naa-docu...

Whereas each apartment would need its own kitchen, living room, etc, hotels typically don't build out a living room or kitchen for each room (with the exception of some extended stay hotels). 

if you are going to stay in the house for more then 3 years you can do a single pay upfront pmi it usually comes out cheaper

Typically quality concrete won't fail due to the use by one or two tenants who stay for a few years each. 

Stay invested in the US.

You have let him stay even though he has lease violations.