Moreover, HOA dues eat into cash flow and the board could vote against rentals in the community.

If the latter, it will be difficult for you to sell at the same price and you may have to eat the loss if you decide to sell. 

With rates rising yet again, (not just mortgage rates, but rates that will effect buyers DTI, like car loans etc), This is eating into what buyers can afford. 3 months ago they may have been able to afford $400,000, now with the rates jumping and their DTI dropping, they may have to shop in the $325-350 range or worse.

Being in the "weeds" like this is really eating away at my spirit though. 

It's you paying your dues as an investor, unless someone with experience can partner with you then you get to eat off of theirs.If you are lacking in either credit or capital and you do have no experience, then it will be hard. 

If they can't/won't, then you'll have to eat the loss.

Expected me to eat the cost!

Yes, these splits essentially determine how the return is divided, both in terms of percentages and who 'eats first.'

In the long-run you may be better off eating the cost and hiring someone else to do the job.BTW, I can DM you a good DFW guy.

You can also print off your bank statements and card statements and add it all up yourself to see where is eating up your budget.$550/mo for a family of 4 for groceries sounds low to me unless you are eating meatless spaghetti and pb&j sandwiches for every meal.