I’m not really worried about myself, but I have a tiny wife and we might have a baby in the next few years.

I'm actually not looking for professional sports necessarily... just want to avoid tiny towns with "nothing to do."

I also look at the credit report and check the income to debt ratio as a loan officer would.

The absolute slam dunk is professional offices.

An informal probate would be available to a decedent who's asset total less than $150K.Ask you seller if the decedent owned other real property and stocks, etc. estimate what the total vslue of those might be (roughly) and then ask your title insurance officer what they require. 

The hardest part of this is probably making time to go to the attorney's office and sign documents. 4.

Some Post Offices will allow you to list their physical address if you have a PO Box there.

If you call your local county building or sheriff's office they will be able to tell you what you need.

Have you thought about "interning" at a real estate office until you turn 18 and then getting your real estate license ?

i.e. residential, retail, office, industrial, owner occupied or tenant occupied or others?