So if I “lose” money investing after depreciation, expenses, mileage, then we get a tax refund because it offsets my husband’s salary.

He gives off sleazy used car salesman vibes when communicating with him and I worry about giving him any money only to never hear from him again. 

Can I take out a hard money loan for the 43K plus the 40K rehab amount and have him owner finance the rest of the purchase price to me?

But you will increase costs in regards to insurance or lending..You still risk losing the property to any liability that happens at the property or in your personal life.

I also read when a retirement account becomes too large (for example, greater than a million [in some states]), it starts to lose its protection from creditors.

ALL,, even parts of East Cleveland, ( I know what you're saying this guy is crazy east clev, well pricing there has double tripled or more and IMO going higher, those in the know understand why ) Parma good luck making money there, you missed that boat by 5 years, even GH prices have tripled or more over the last 5, 6 7 years.

Without that, you have to be able to not only pay your own expenses, but also your first rental plus your second rental mortgage (at least on paper) with your other sources of income (ie money from your W2 job).  

Hi,I’ve done a few hard money deals and I’ve been trying to cash out refinance a rental that’s just about finished.

Hello We own two lots from our own money in Miami.  

Too much risk.In this case the husband is giving the ex money like a parent supporting a student.