Not that that was your thought but television (surprise, surprise) has a way of distorting reality.

I'm surprised that there isn't a site that you can just put in the zip code and get in seconds. 

We'd like to make sure there are no surprises before we acquire the property.  

Get a copy of the landlord tenant laws for the area / state your planning on investing in so you know what you need to do as a landlord .Always usually more unexpected costs and if your out of state, you'll have management fees or plan on extra trips to your property... 

Ashley Clark I'm actually surprised they even entertain offers with inspection contingencies.

I have never seen a property that has exhausted all possible appreciation forcing opportunities so even if it seems stable it might still have some "meat on the bone" to improve income or reduce expenses (e.g 100% occupied property usually means there is some room to increase rents).Lastly, forcing appreciation might sounds like an awesome thing to do but it involves a lot of hard work, careful planning and being ready for the hiccups and surprises life throws at you. 

4) What is the parallel to a real estate investor's surprise roof repair (deal buster)?

That's how people get surprised.

Quickly bankroll an emergency fund in case something unexpected comes up.Alternately, you could also instead focus on a proper career job in your field.

I would not be surprised if you were more well off when you get back.