As an owner I accepted the fact that I had to pay but now as an investor and making that choice, it would not be to purchase another property that has HOA.

The prior action might even have made things more difficult if a large amount of back payments were in a repayment plan that would likely require payment now.As for gaining control of his estate, you need to decide if it makes sense (if there is lots of equity remaining after payment of debts) and if you are the best choice for resolving this, especially if you have the financial resources and understanding to resolve.If you don't think you are up to these challenges, you won't have to be concerned with either repairing the house or the debt.

You just have to be able to evaluate the property the location, check your numbers for what you want to do with the property and make your own choice.

As a Real Estate Investor, your job is to make an appointment, and go through all of the sellers' choices after you walk through the house.If there is little equity/pretty house, you can rent it out, sell on sub2, wrap, lease option, etc.If there is mid equity/pretty house, you can list it, sub2 and a note, lease purchase, wrap, lease option assignment, sandwich lease, master lease, etc.If it is free and clear/pretty house, installment sale, list it, lease purchase, wrap, lease option assignment, sandwich lease, master lease, etc.If it is a "mild rehab", see about a JV with the seller, give the seller a note for equity no payments for 4 months, use private money for rehab, get on title with a sub2 or wrap, then sell it and pay off the seller and the private lender, earn 10% for a JV fee.See https://vimeo.com/131984718

I had a fire last year and was lucky to have taken a second with my credit union as the first mortgage with a bank wanted to sign over the insurance check to the main contractor who was ultimately only doing 40% of the work and I was having the rest done by my contractor's or choice or myself.

They seem  high to me, but I'm not actively renting anything in Denver right now and I am continually surprised by the prices I hear.I think you're being smart, and I think the boyfriend is being sulky.I'd probably buy the triplex and dump the chump...This didn't answer all of your questions, but then you do have an awful lot of questions packed into that post!

DeSoto is a great choice.  

Fighting robbers is not smart, and you should probably formulate a written policy for the future.Your attorney will have your back, and will make sure you don't say anything egregious, but you definitely don't want to hide. 

Any background on the Tokyo market choice?

Is the crazy lady smart enough to attempt this?