Just submit through regular channels.  

Buy a bunch of carpet deodorizer and spread it around regularly. 

The money is in the long term relationship and regular steady, growing income.

Triple the regular amount for each months water bill.

You can also consider a regular sale with a life estate.

Is there a way to fix (i.e, raise rent, does it make a good investment etc) The lenders (regular / conventional) I've used will go off a % the rented amount on the lease if it's been rented under a year, or will go off schedule E tax return if over a year factoring in rents, expenses, depr etc.

If you keep up the motivation and use this site regularly, I am sure with the support of this community you will be well on your way to your goals!  

I'm happy to connect you with contractors for flips who regularly work with remote owners.

My lender said we can not continue the process without having, practically a regular job because I have been self employed for less than two years.

There’s actually one coming up in a couple weeks in Laurel that Jack and I both regularly attend.