I am very interested in lease option deals, wholesaling, fix and flip, rental property in the next few years with tenant buyers in them..My first main question is already posted on here, involving a private loan for a partner and I to rehab a house then list and sell.A partner and I will be borrowing money for a unknown rehab project.

Simply providing timely updates and pictures of how things are coming along.If you are planning to, or if the borrower wants you to take a more active role then getting a split of the profits makes more sense. 

and then like what happened to many in 08 and 09.. those that banked with the big banks got the cold shoulder many small community banks ( if they did not go under) stuck by the core borrowers...

A mortgage is basically a lien against a property that says "this property is mine until you pay me back all the money you borrowed or this note is somehow satisfied". 

to "borrow everything possible!"

I have recently worked on several commercial deals where the borrower was concerned with Phantom Income.  

I went into commercial lending as the deals are bigger and the borrowers are more professional.  

The mortgage broker is collecting a fee each time he closes and it may make sense for the borrower in that the first loan may have been high, except that the borrower should have gotten a better rate.  

The borrower likely has no track record and is moving from residential to 5+ units, the sellers tend to keep poor books as they manage themselves with those few units, at a 10 unit level you really can't land a professional multifamily PM company as it's not worth their time versus larger buildings.

If you are asking this question to the forum, it makes me wonder if you have concerns regarding lending from someone you know as opposed to borrowing from a financial institution.