I am not leveraged on this house so I can sell and start fresh but have no idea really the safe way to get started. 

It seems like we're getting more Mexican nationals moving in who are looking for a safe place to park their money.

I do agree that mechanical upgrades are a good idea if necessary, those are almost always a safe bet for ROI and resale-ability.

We were told they have researched the Chicago area and safely determined there's at least $20,000,000 of real estate that meets their criteria. 

It's a bit like a safe harbor statement - just because it hasn't happened, doesn't mean it won't in the future.Also, the 4x4 supports don't appear to be on cement footings (down to frost depth).

You want safe buy treasury bills.  

However since you are having zero luck then I am going to recommend older centers that are typically run by mom and pop owners techniques.

This ensures that your property is safe and up to code.

I actually converted the usable ones to propane and secured a board blocking the chimney in the ones that will never be chimney safe. 

Or, you can buy her a baseball bat to make her feel safe.