Dust the cement wall off very well at the top.

Admire your old school judgement but it’s something to laugh at not something you should do anything about, or something you could even be sure of.If it’s true before long she will OD or some dude will fly off the handle.

I met the owners during the walkthrough, and ended up hitting off with them, and they wanted me to win the property in a multi-offer situation.

This is really going to be off topic!  

Obviously having a 60+ unit portfolio affords me the opportunity to have a revenue (fractional) - so if you only have a couple of properties in 1 or only a few markets you should be able to base off of your competition and booking trends.

HI SAM,You can always start off by house hacking meaning you live in one UNIT or ROOM and renting out the other vacant units/rooms to offset your monthly mortgage payment.There are several ways to run and make sure you are maximizing your rental income while keeping your living expense as low as possible.

and in the extremely rare instance that someone runs off with your money it appears to me you’re out of luck.  

It's owned free and clear no debt but has taxed my expendable capital.

IF you did disclose that, in writing.

I have two write now and both have been a nightmare.