Your advice here will help tremendously as I sort through various loan options. 

Not impossible but definitely difficult to sort out.

@Chris Mason I did house hack my place in Tucson with a 3.5% down FHA loan, so it is possible, but I had to jump through all sorts of hoops and it was a pocket listing that I was offered.

Ideally, I'm looking for a situation that I could work side by side with a seasoned investor/contractor in exchange for some sort of profit split.

Fast forward 5 years, and let's assume what a lot of folks are thinking might happen proves to be correct: there's been some inflation, lending rates are up, and despite my best efforts, I bought in a market that was hit by some sort of unexpected economic drop, so vacancy rates are up, rents are flat (or down) and Cap rates have gone up significantly in the area. 

The fact that some tenants have a lease that expires in 45 days could be a good thing as you could vacate those units to improve them, then offer them to the existing tenants in the other units at an increased rent and if they take it fix up the units they move out of.This sort of value add can be a very smart strategy, you just have to know how to run the numbers carefully and hold to them so that you are not doing all this work for free.

Always deals to be had, what sort of geographical boundaries do you have?

It's sort of depressing in a way!

If I did it in a rental, it would be a built in mini bar of sorts for theatricality and less on a security thing.

In my experience with HM lenders they've never asked for a business plan or anything of the sort.