This had 1031 written all over it until the end where you can't get a loan.

Make sure you aren’t “selling securities” or it’s going to get expensive.

There you will be asked your criteria and then after answering a few questions you will be matched with 3-5 agents or loan officers in your area.

Is there any type of conventional/portfolio loan I can pursue?

10% down vacation home loan How did you add value to the deal?

You'll need to secure your domain name at somewhere like GoDaddy, and then point to it through VacationRentalDesk. 

I say you don't need to consider security cameras (or even trail cameras)- but you could put fake ones out or if you had wifi on site o(r wanted to go the sim card/monthly route), that's not an expensive option either.

They will not issue a security deposit check they will only give you a voucher letter to submit a claim.

If you wish to pursue damages/rent that exceed any security deposit make certain you get their new address so that they may be served notice of this lawsuit (this is often the sticking point in many eviction situations). 

And, to make things even worse, after I deduct all the expenses, costs to hold property, repay the loan with huge interest rates, I would end up with little or (possibly) no profit at all.