I am retired, but I plugged in very loose high number from both mine & my wifes past.  

Wholesalers are not bound by the brokers' laws that you were/are if the wholesaler is not a broker. 

3) there's bound to be lead paint in the propertyI'm thinking as an early investor I should just steer clear of these problems - but I'm interested in any perspectives.Thanks!

When you loose trust in your realtor, it's time to let them go.

When i'm tired of binghamton, its hard to cut loose without a loss unless i bought the house dirt dirt cheap.

Best thing is to make a SMART plan - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound and then stick to it.  

Tell them to book that day for showings or open-house every 2 weeks for example.Another idea would be to try and do showings between check-out and next check-in, but that it's a bit harder to do and plan.If they can't stand to loose $ for that one day every 2 weeks then they might not really need to sell or don't care to sell sooner then later.

Look at the things you did wrong - be honest with yourself - and you can usually improve by leaps and bounds on the next project. 

Just cut her loose and save yourself some time and a lot of money.

You will never loose your network.