As for a referral fee from the lender to the agent, at least here in CO, it is illegal for a lender to give cash or anything of value (gift cards, cars, etc) to agents for a referrals.

Write a postcard, let them know you care about any issues they have, I even send a gift card each Christmas to my tenants.  

go buy a $50 gift card , and offer it as a free drawing for people on the sign in sheet. this way they will be less likely to give you a false phone number or email address. people love "free" gifts.

Since the private money wouldn't be a partner on the loan, how is that money stated--personal savings, gift, ????

Frankly, I have received small gifts from those running other sites to participate on their site and while I have contributed on other sites, it has been nothing like my participation here on BP.

Usually landlords talk about getting gifts for their tenants, but this is a little different.

So do you not have the 20% you originally stated, because you could technically "gift" that to your wife up to a certain amount depending on program which would mean you don't have to sell the home first. 

Note that gifts also cannot be used for down payment on investment properties.You are very unlikely to find a lender, hard money or otherwise, willing to to the deal if you don't have some skin in the game... for at least one day.  

@Valerie KingFHA downpayments are 3.5%, so you would need to come up with that amount, but it doesn't have to be your money, it can come from a gift, possibly from a relative.The closing costs vary from area to area, but around here closing costs can be 6%. 

Which is a gift and a curse.