Inflation does not discriminate, cash or debt both loose value.

Prices are up and interest rates are brutal but rents have been increasing by leaps in bounds in southern NH over the last 24 months.

Not really, it's not like you are loosing that money.  

We also don't want to loose a portion of a paid deposit which is almost always completely used up with the repairs due to move out condition.

This incentizes the person to buy otherwise they loose their "option payment." 

What would happen if the tenant suddenly loose it or ex-husband shows up and messes up everything?

You need to read the actual NOTE itself,  that is what you agreed to and you and the lender are legally bound to.

Assuming it's a metes and bounds legal description and not a platted lot and block, it's possible the description is incomplete and/or unlocatable as recorded. 

So, I would say that yeah, you could save money by not hiring a REALTOR or even a real estate agent however, while your average agent may think of your best interest, a REALTOR is bound by their code to act in your best interest.

It seems like something has been lost in translation here.If you have enough equity to qualify for a cash-out-refi and are not bound by seasoning or a low credit score, then your loan amount is limited by some other factor, such as DTI.