There's tons of great reviews, but how do I know it's sticking to the roots and not just washing away down the main city sewer line?

Just don't stand in the room while the washing machine is going if you're prone to epileptic seizures.

Walls & Ceilings & Woodwork & Cabinetry & Every Surface - all will need a good white vinegar/water wash.  

Look for burn marks on floor coverings, window sills, fireplace mantle and bathroom vanity.To reduce the smoke smell, wipe down the entire apartment with a vinegar wash and set pans of white vinegar around the place.

Can I just wash them and paint right over them?

In the dish rack after she washed dishes, on the kitchen windowsill, etc...But I won't venture down that road and hopefully this whole situation is soon a memory.Thank you!

I would also consider adding a wood mantel and then painting the brick either above or below the mantel to match the white paint around it to make it a focal point without washing out the entire fireplace.

Perhaps, but the market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.

Kurt Kwart which podcast episode was he on?

As I stated this was a washing machine drain line.