We are looking to start with single family flips in areas that we are familiar with including Essex, Bergen or Hudson county.We would like to start forming a strong team to help make this possible - any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated.

The tenant would need me to be the bank for them due to them being self employed and not  showing a strong tax return year after year.How would you structure this so everyone is protected?

If your partner is as strong as you suggest, it will not matter if you are on the loan. 

For one, the strong military presence means stability.

If you can bake in the higher interests into your projections and still have strong numbers, it might be worth it. - Are there any state or regional gov't incentives to encourage investments?

I strongly believe in the philosophy, "Live where you want to live, invest where the numbers make sense."

The positive of our market is strong nation-leading GDP growth and job growth, with a high demand for rentals.

Also, be sure that your financing in strong and that your property can withstand a down turn. 

i.e. my wife is very dominant and strong willed so she works with contractors. 

I would strongly suggest buying a duplex or four plex.