Everything that I found so far has fees and tickets and sounds over the top.

Do you know why Mice don't sell many tickets?

That's why I don't really like your court analogy -- I'm fully aware that the real estate agent does not represent me, I would say it's much more similar to representing yourself in court on a traffic ticket where you've already looked up the relevant laws.

Speeding tickets have you paid off?

If there are other options out there, most people struggle to look past it and will choose something done already....I prefer to have at minimum all the big ticket items done....paint, flooring, cabinets, appliances etc...... not having baseboard or switch covers or smaller stuff is not a big deal.....

No "pattern" of trouble with the law.  3 or more misdemenaors (except traffic tickets) in 5 years or less is NO GO. 

@Jim K. zip it or ticket

Then add on a Home Warranty for the big ticket items. 

I was guided by my mortgage professionals over the years to aim to fill out the 10 “golden tickets” of conventional loans, before portfolio.  

I'm looking at this one as similar to buying lottery tickets: maybe it will pay off some day, but probably not!