*You can borrow up to $50k from the plan; IRAs do not allow participant loans*There is no custodial requirement for the 401k.

Train a few Trustees.Also, for some protection, in my Trusts I have it set up so that while my kids are minors the person who manages the assets is not the person who has custody of the beneficiaries so the 2 person set up helps keep people honest as they can both watch each other. 

The only option left is to expose the system, the players and make it a news worthy public matter...otherwise it will get pushed again over a child custody matter etc...there is no priority for this case in family court and there never will be.

Clients may incur certain charges imposed by custodians, brokers, and other third parties such as custodial fees, deferred sales charges, odd-lot differentials, transfer taxes, wire transfer, and electronic fund fees, and other fees and taxes on brokerage accounts and securities transactions.

However, this option is harmful to the dad/tenant in a divorce/custody situation and he won't choose this unless it's the only option... 

You make the biggest stink in the world about the money being found and being in THEIR CUSTODY.

One of the things you might want to do is look at the fee schedules of various SD IRA custodians and compare the difference in custodial fees with and without checkbook control.

There are few options:1) Custodial self-directed IRA. 2) Checkbook IRA, allows account holder bypass the custodian/administrator and be able to make investment, pay investment related expenses without using a middle man. 3) Truly self-directed Solo 401k, custodian is not required, offers checkbook control over your retirement funds, contributions up to $60K, exempt from taxation on leverages real estate and more.

The form that you will need to fill out with E-Trade is called "Investment Only (Non-Custodial) Retirement Plan Application."

So it’s no longer a custodial account with funds being held for damage, the new owners aren’t landlording to themselves.