No matter what the story that the tenant gives you, begin the eviction according to your state's laws the instant that the rent is not paid in full by the end of your state's grace period. 

I opted to settle as payment was instant Vs winning the case and waiting to get proceeds.

On the next one I'll find something that needs some work so I can get in at a discount and force some instant equity.

Even if buying under FMV with instant equity, a conventional lender wants to see skin in the game - a down payment.If the seller could loan you money collateralized by a different property and you owner-occ/house hack it, it would be possible.  

You may get instant responce (don't count on it) or it may take several months.

Housing is not very liquid, a housing "crash" doesn't happen instantly, you should know this.

Plus, you'd instantly add ~$250k in value (assuming an 8 Cap), increasing property's value by 50%.What's the deal with the commercial units?

Youve got an instant $30k negative equity.

So now you have a property that is below market value in pretty good shape and instantly making money from Day 1.With Zillow/Realtor.com, you have to negotiate the price, fix up the property if needed and then maybe have to get tenants in place.  

The last thing you can do in the forums is to try to get leads, you will get banned in an instant.