Right now it will be very hard if not impossible to evict till next year so I hold off as you could be buying yourself a problem. 

From what I'm seeing, getting HELOCs on rentals right now are tough (not impossible) and are taking a very long time (I'm in the middle of one that is 8 weeks in!). 

In the beginning of investing it will be nearly impossible for the LLC to buy property, approved for a loan because no banks would loan to a no history business .

(If 1 is impossible) How could I go about structuring owner financing that is a win for the seller and myself?

The only real career I could possibly succeed in right now would be going back to trucking, but that would mean giving up my dog who gets carsick, moving back with my parents (since it's not worth paying rent with very little actual time at home), and it being nigh-impossible to keep up with any sort of school program/classes.

If I ask a builder if they can do that for me, they'll say its impossible.

It’s a good chance that you’ll run into issues there.Lastly, If this is a lower-priced condo (under $100K) and there are no rental restrictions then I really hope you are a cash investor because getting funding for these types are nearly impossible!

A gov't backed loan is harder, but not impossible. 

So far I've spoken to brokers at Watson and Keller Williams and both told me it's impossible to be a part-time agent.

These guys all too frequently end up with financial obligations that simply make that impossible.