I will likely go with Dish as the provider, but I'm also going to look into hollernet. 

I like the stability of non-student rentals, plus students are often living on their own for the first time and that can create more problems (eg dish soap in dishwasher).Take your time to look at places. 

Fridge fell over, cupboard doors opened up, all the dishes and glasses we owned were now on the floor along with the fridge contents.

No dishwasher, because in 1950, washing dishes was (fasten your seat belt) woman's work! 

When I show the property to potential tenants I'm extremely clear that I expect to be paid on the 1st, that they are not to leave dishes out, and that they need to be quiet and respectful of everyone else at night.

I do not really know anybody that can dish out large sums of money like that. 

Seller to cancel service and have all dishes and wires removed within 30 days of the end of the last lease.

Trash bags, dishwasher pellets, kleenex, vacuum cleaners, dish soap, paper towels, etc. 

Plumber goes out and finds the sink full of dishes, but no leak.

I think you're right that the "seasoning" is the secret ingredient in this dish.