All my #s stay the same but altering the income /expense yields different results.

Let me translate that logic into English for you."

Don't think that "immaculately maintained" translates into "no big sudden bills".

To add to the above comments.The banks have their contract addendum, and they expect to have that signed without any alterations.

If you use the 50%/2% guide this propety should rent for $1500 a month (2% of 75k) and expenses would run 750 per month. leaving 750 a month return . this translates to a cash on cash return of 12% 750 x12 =9000/75000 =12% plug in the actual rent, taxes , insurance property management at 8% and a conservative estimate for maintaining the property and you should get a better picture of what you should offer for this property.

Some toilets have a very low level, which translate into smaller surface area at the bottom, which translate into "streak marks".There are certain brands that are infamous for great gravity flushes, but they create this incredible splash when flushed. 

I'm having difficulty translating how my "creativity" ultimately turns into other investors funding my projects.

Most of your commercial spaces are appraised using the income method, so a higher rent or a longer lease makes the property income higher and more stable which translates into a higher value. 

We're seeing the same average profit on these wholesale deals as we were seeing on the rehabs, which translates to better margins.

If the occupancy is low, and by low, I mean lower than 85-90% you will have trouble finding any conventional financing.That said, you've already gotten a realistic range of how much you can expect to put down.More than that, considering this is likely to be a smaller loan amount it will almost certainly translate into a full-recourse loan.