As we took on more at a time (we had four flips going at the same time at one point), the adjustments would come a couple houses down the line, but we always did our best to make sure the other party felt treated fairly, even if it meant compromising a little. 

In practicing compromise, we came up with a plan.

I agree 100% that, as you said, you should not compromise on your numbers, which is why vetting 100 properties, then making strong (ie, not a prayerful lowball) offers on the top 4 or 5 will be much more effective.In a down market, the spray and pray approach can be somewhat effective because you have a large crop of desperate or motivated sellers. 

The owner declined negotiating the inspection addendum and I have an out, but I think there is good long-term opportunity here according to my calcs - good cash flow + appreciation + stable rental market.To sum it up, my question is: in your opinion(s), when is it acceptable to purchase an investment property in a hot rental market at asking (or above). what would you compromise on with initial up-front cost (i.e. no rehab, appreciation prospects, etc.)?

That could be a good compromise between the keeping and getting something more modern.

However, I wasn't willing to pay desk fees or compromise the value that I brought to the firm.  

You don't want your account at the HOA compromised, they have more control than god!!!

Also, many standard contracts have a clause that seller will pay up to x% of purchase price for any lender required repairs, so your agent may just be explaining that if lender required repairs total under 1%, for example, of purchase  price, the seller will fix it per the contract, but if it goes over that amount, they can back out if they don't want to pay unless some compromise is reached.  3.  

So perhaps a compromise is for you to forgive all her past debts to you in exchange for her surrendering the property.

A good compromise if she is not independently interested in real estate would be to look for a duplex that is 1 and 1 (not side by side, but a main house and a carriage house) or look for a single family home on a double lot that you could subdivide.