Maybe I am confused or maybe there isn't enough info here...THE PMC worked for free this entire time handling an unfortunate situation that was not likely either party's fault.

Offering 50% of the cleaning fee for cancellations within 48 hours seems like a fair middle ground.You might want to set up a clear policy with her going forward so everyone’s on the same page for situations like this.

With actual cash, you just transfer it. yes, but you can still bid with lender approval - without appraisal contingency - you send in deal (app), it gets approved by lender its functionally the same as cash (except in true lightning speed situations where there is a quick auction with little time to prep but thats generally pretty rare I'd think)Right, but that's not cash or functionally the same as cash because the lender can change the terms at the last minute, as often happens with less experienced hard money lenders.

.: Before the fur starts flying, can I at least make one simple statement about this situation?

these investments will either make sense for you and your family's financial situation, or they won't.  

You're definitely in a unique situation, but there are some SOPs that apply here. #1, know your guest avatar.

I would maybe recommend reaching out to another CPA or two to get an idea of the cost in your area and with your situation to see if you're overpaying.

I will return to this situation in the end of this post, but first let me show you why the age of a person can be tricky when it comes to the IRS.

Due to my situation I made a mistake but renting my house when I moved out. 

If you live there and are currently renting, then there still is a pathway to house hack say a duplex and better your situation.