I would be getting crushed under the weight of this game.And I'm not even talking here about the importance of building the close relationships I have with my main contractors.

Due to his body weight, apparently the next step gave away, so he was essentially stuck in the staircase, unable to extricate himself. 

My problem is my buyer's list is heavily weighted with full-time investors, and in order to make a profit I would need to find the people that want to buy a nice, new house in a good school district for around a 1% rent to purchase ratio (i.e. people with extra cash looking to put it into real estate for retirement purposes).

Anyone out there that can help me network with some heavy-weight and seasoned investors in the valley, I would be very grateful.

I'll be working to increase my stock, bond, REIT and note allocation over the coming years, so that my allocation isn't so heavily weighted towards real estate (the opposite of your situation).

That feature alone is worth it's weight in gold. 

@Michelle Eisenberg Obviously, I am biased, but CPAs (just like other service professionals) are worth their weight in gold.

If so, what type/breed, age and weight? 

@Michael Baradell this is kind of a weighted question.

No PM worth their weight in cow dung would call the Landlord for advice.You should absolutely evict at the earliest possible chance.