There should be a special stipulation along the lines of "All parties agree that tenant will provide time within 3 days of binding agreement for buyer and licensed inspector to access the inside of the property."

The only time people lose assets is if theylose their job or have to change for a decrease in income, then they try and trim the fat.  

This whole “chunking” as you guys like to call it, obviously means nothing.There is no magic to the heloc.....the Only advantage to the heloc is if you are not sure you can afford the extra $500/mo payments, without getting in a bind.  

Nothing you and the seller agree on is binding to the lender of the seller.* Make sure you have no relationship whatsoever between you, the agents and the seller.* Make sure you use logic not emotion for this roller coaster of a ride you are about to embark on.

This  shouldn't be  surprise, I would imagine the same sort of consumer protections are deemed necessary either side of the Atlantic.Of course it is not binding in any US jurisdiction but it is probably more persuasive than anything you can muster to the contrary.

How and when does a landlord get to decide who does and who doesn't read/understand English well enough for a binding contract?  

Unfortunately, no matter what the lenders tell you their opinion will not be binding 6 months from now.

I do this with the fat tenants as I figure them running is the only exercise they'll get all month. 

Explain to them you'll be glad to help but they have a legally binding contract and if they don't want to do things your way and nice and smooth.

VA doesn't require PMI, however, there is a fat "VA funding fee" of like 2%.