Also, if you were in our position, what questions should we be asking the lenders to make sure it is a good fit?

If you’re in the position to buy multiple deals because this nursing home may get properties frequently.

I'm not sure what leverage you would have outside of taking legal action, these are generally things that should all have been on the closing statment along with deposits etc. 

My first reaction to your post is if you're purchasing assets that are throwing off positive cash but your DTI is going up then it may be time to re-evaluate the type of assets or the expenses associated with those assets.  2.

I know for a fact there are other women in your position that live in the Bay Area and are investing in markets like Ohio

I admire your steadfastness and perseverance during those volatile, uncertain times and continuing to have a great, positive attitude.In regard to REI investing currently - There are great real estate investment opportunities across different markets, especially in the Midwest and Southeast.

In my home market of Florida, our insurance rates have made it much harder to have positive cash flow on a CRE deal.

A $240k loan amount on a $249k purchase price seems crazy and I'd never expect to produce any net positive cash flow doing this.How are you calculating your property taxes?

Yeah I have been back and forth thinking a lot and now it’s time to take an action.  

Some will be ok in 2nd position and some will not and force you to refinance out the first - but those are options that are probably cheaper than credit cards