I’ve since moved on to FSBO-online, however I can’t check on the status of the posting, and you can only submit one property. 

Crazy idea - How about asking your tax professional instead of a bunch of people on this blog that have no clue about if you qualify for RE professional status?

The income from such units is generally not considered reliable.Occupying the ADU: While you could theoretically occupy the unpermitted ADU and rent out the main house, lenders still might not recognize this arrangement for qualifying purposes due to the unpermitted status of the ADU.Permitting the ADU: If possible, consider working to get the ADU permitted.

Talk to the local building official and get their take on the building's status.

Beyond that, why would the makeup of their family status matter?

This is great to find this discussion since I too am having trouble getting answers from QI.If I understand the discussion, my wife and I can sell our relinquished property, create an LLC in our names and purchase replacement property if we live in a community property state.However, if we don't (as in our own South Carolina) any multi-member LLC would be seen as a partnership and a separate taxable entity (disqualifying 1031 status).This seems to leave us with buying as ourselves and putting into separate LLC's after 1 to 2 years which not too appealing (mostly due to timing).Is there another option we might consider that either allows going to LLC sooner or immediately?

These carve-outs are typical in commercial real estate loans, including those backed by Freddie Mac, and are designed to protect the lender without necessarily compromising the loan's non-recourse status under IRA rules. 

But there are a number of exceptions, including if your income is under $150k, real estate professional status, and the STR loophole. 

So a week ago or so they gave me a website to check my balance, status, etc.

You cannot assume his mortgage since its a "Marital asset" he will need to sell it to you in order for the wife to get bought out based on her equitable share.You can buy it from him if they agree to a price but I seriously doubt the spouse is going to take a loss.